America- Surgeon Simulator 2013
by GamerRCL0505
Summary: So, Alfred takes a stab at one of the newest games on the interwebs... Quite literally... *Warning* There is ALOT of cursing, mainly because I curse, and he curses, and this game will make you RAGE.


**Author's Note So, haven't written in a while, but that's because I'm applying to get into the IB Program... Yeah... So, this is just crack and/or ranting about the "fun" game Surgeon Simulator 2013. Enjoy... (Or else... Mwahahaha~!)**

Alfred looked at the starting screen, unblinking. "Ok, looks simple enough..."

He skipped ahead to the actual game, smirking, thinking this would be a cake walk.

"Ok, first thing's first: grab the hammer." He fiddled with the controls. "Ok, grab the- grab- gra- grab the goddamned hammer!" The hand spasmed and clipped like mad, not actually gripping the tool, but the table.

"Dammit!" He cursed, mad with the crappy controls. Finally succeeding to grab the hammer, he accidentally broke the ribcage open, and dropped the thing inside. "Holy shit! What did I just do!?"

The hammer was flung out, along with the ribs and two lungs. "The fuck? Where's this dude's stomach? And his other organs and junk?" He ranted. "And what's with this doctor-dude? Why's he got one hand, and is he standin' in the Patient or somethin'?"

By now, he was trying to remove the heart from the patient's wide-open chest cavity, and grabbed the sheet that had previously covering the body. Flinging it to the side, it momentarily grazed the heart and box. "Where the fuck did the heart go!?"

Alfred was panicking, realizing that the heart disappeared.

"Fuck, I think I'm magical! Now what!?" He shrieked. "Nobody Panic, I got dis shit!" He looked around for a replacement heart, and grabbed a broken glass beaker. "This will have to do!"

The screen changed to a failure message, saying: _And it was going so well... It only took you 2:34 seconds to brutally murder this guy!_

…**Skip of Horrible Controls 'n' Stuff…**

Arthur and Matthew stood outside Al's room, both equally concerned for their brother's mental stability.

"Should w-we go in?" Matthew asked the older blonde.

"I honestly dunno... The git seems to have lost it." Arthur replied.

…**Now back to Dr. Jekyll- I mean Alfred, and the new game…**

"The fuck, bro!?" Alfred screamed, noticing the quickly draining blood. "Oh shit, oh shit! What do I do!? 'That's Saw' the hell does that even mean!?" He frantically looked around the scream, noticing one of the de-attached ribs had landed precariously on the green handled electric saw. "It's not even attached, dip-shit!"

He grabbed at the bone and flung it, accidentally sending the saw with it. "Shit, shit! No, grab it!" He grasped frantically, but the tool slipped off the edge.

"It's ok, I'm a trained professional. I know exactly what to do at times like these. We didn't need that anyways, the bone saw's where it's at!" He told himself, trying to grab said tool. He grazed it on the ribcage. "Now, to start this delicate procedure by raking the saw along the- Fuck! I didn't know it would just do that! What the hell, lung!?" He screamed, seeing the pink organ spaz-out of the closed ribcage, knocking nearly everything off the left table.

Alfred just barely saved the hammer from falling into "The Void", as he'd "affectionately" started calling it. "Crap, that was close." Swinging the hammer in, everything in the open chest cavity flew out, leaving only the heart. "Well, that was easy. Now, to just carefully trade hearts. Start by grasping the scal- Is it stuck to my thumb? Alright, who's the joker who put super-glue on the scalpels again!?" He joked, as he tried to cut open the arteries attaching the heart to the body.

After half a minute of trial and error, he managed to get the heart out. "Ok, now I just grab this heart, and throw it out of the way, and put this one in. Easy." He smiled, thinking he had his work cut out for him. He put the new heart in, but it wouldn't take right away.

"Ok. Maybe the things need to line up." He spent nearly two minutes trying to get the heart to work. "Dammit heart! Get in your fucking home, don't you wanna go home!? Don't you like home!? What, is your home to good for you? Well, I don't care! Go. In. Dam- Oh." The screen changed once again, this time for the better. _Congratulations, you won. Surgery success! A++_ "Cool, I totally knew that I'd win this. I am the hero after all!"

…**After several minutes of Silence…**

"What the bloody 'ell were you doing in there!?" Arthur asked, throwing Alfred's bedroom door open.

"Oh, just proving my epic surgery skills."

A/N: Oh, this game... Damn this game... So, quite a few references; Pewdiepie, MarkiplierGames, RoosterTeeth, etc. They're funny guys, check 'em out... So, BYEZEZ!


End file.
